PROMISE 1


All children need support and guidance from caring adults in their families, at schools and in their communities. These include ongoing, secure relationships with parents as well as formal and informal relationships with teachers, mentors, coaches, youth volunteers and neighbors.

Caring adults are the cornerstone of a child’s development — and for the other four Promises that build success both in childhood and adulthood. Parents come first. But children also need to experience the support from caring adults in all areas of their lives.

According to Every Child, Every Promise:

  • One-third of teens and 20% of younger children lack quality relationships with their parents
  • Only 8% of young people ages 6 to 17 have a formal mentor
  • More than 40% of young people ages 8-21 say they want more adults in their lives to whom they can turn for help

Learn more about our National Action Strategies to bring more Promises to 15 million children in five years.

Strategies that Work

  1. For 0 to 5 Years
  2. For 6 to 10 Years
  3. For 11 to 14 Years
  4. For 15 to 18 Years

For 0 to 5 Years^

Top Six Actions

1. Provide a nurturing touch such as a hug, hold hands, smile, laugh and give attention to each child every day.

2. Encourage children to express feelings, show creativity and artistic expression, and participate in unstructured play time.

3. Read with a child once a day.

4. In daily conversations, tell each child something you like about her or him. Make it sincere.

5. Set clear and firm boundaries, and give children choices within those boundaries.

6. Join in and follow the children’s lead in play at least once per day.

Additional Actions to Consider

  • Plan activities that encourage caring behavior several times a week.
  • Establish eye contact and smile several times a day.
  • Set an example by leading a caring and healthy lifestyle so the child feels safe.
  • Be an active listener.
  • Know three things about each child’s family or interests.
  • Ask children to make a handmade gift for a grown-up who likes them.  If one of the children doesn’t name anyone, find a person to pay special attention to this child.
  • Send each child in your group a card or letter once a year.
  • Share music with a child at least four times per week.
  • Be responsive to each child by answering questions, joining in a game initiated by the child, etc.
  • Teach responsibility and build trust.
  • Provide discipline, but not punishment.
  • Provide a safe and structured environment.

For 6 to 10 Years^

Top Six Actions

1. During daily contact, share something you like about each child. Make sure it is sincere.

2. Show each child respect through active listening. For example, listen and respond to his/her questions.

3. Set clear and firm boundaries, and give each child choices within those boundaries.

4. In private, ask each child how things are going at home. Ask if you can help in any way.

5. Teach children to respect differences by regularly exposing them to a diversity of people, values, attitudes and behaviors.

6. Join the child in activities like reading, crafts, games, sports, etc.

Additional Actions to Consider

  • Involve the children when deciding activities and rules for the group.
  • Plan activities that encourage caring behavior several times a week.
  • Tell each child something about yourself and what is important to you.
  • Ask each child to name a grown-up friend. If a child can’t think of someone, find a mentor or have another leader pay special attention to that child. If a child names an adult, ask the child to write a thank-you note to that adult for something nice she/he has done.
  • Know three things about each child’s family or interests.
  • Send each child in your group a card or letter once a year.
  • Establish eye contact and smile several times a day.

For 11 to 14 Years^

Top Six Actions

1. Include youth in the planning of all activities and programs.

2. During daily contact, share something you like about each youth. When appropriate, praise hard work.

3. At least every two months, plan an activity involving the parents/caregivers.

4. In private, ask each youth how things are going at home. Ask if you can help in any way.

5. Every month, have each youth share one positive thing about another member of the group. This can be done informally.

6. Give youth an opportunity to volunteer with younger children. Before they
volunteer, train them to work with younger children.

Additional Actions to Consider

  • Ask each youth, “Which adults in your life do you admire? Why do you admire them?” If no one is named, set up a mentoring relationship for the youth.
  • Tell each youth in your group something about yourself and what is important to you.
  • Send each youth in your group a card or letter once a year.
  • Call each youth by name.
  • Listen and show respect.

For 15 to 18 Years^

Top Six Actions

1. Include youth in the planning of all activities and programs.

2. Encourage youth to share their experiences, both good and bad, with you.

3. Explore new opportunities in jobs, careers, education and personal interest. Take youth out of their normal environment to new surroundings.

4. Participate together in group activities.

5. Set up experiences for youth to share ideas and feelings that are culturally and ideologically diverse.

6. Have discussions where youth can share their concepts of basic values like caring, trustworthiness, respect, responsibility and justice.

Additional Actions to Consider

  • Listen to youth twice as often as you speak to them.
  • Ask each youth, “Which adults in your life do you admire? Why do you admire them?” If no one is named, set up a mentoring relationship for the youth.
  • In private, ask each youth how things are going at home and if you can help in any way.
  • Call each youth in your group by name at least twice every day.
  • Tell each youth something you like about her/him at least once a week.
  • Tell each youth in your group something about yourself and what is important to you.
  • Give youth an opportunity to volunteer with younger children. Before they volunteer, teach them the importance of showing a child you like them.
  • Share experiences, dreams and goals.
  • Be a good listener. Be supportive and encouraging.